How to Heal After a Bad & Traumatic Breakup

How to Heal After a Bad & Traumatic Breakup

One of the worst situations anyone can go through is breaking up with someone you love. You may experience loss and hopelessness as a result of the anguish, resentment, and despair that accompany it.

But, despite what would seem to be the end of the world, it is not. In fact, it’s the start of a brand-new chapter in your life, one that could end up being even better than the previous one.

Emptiness, worthlessness, rejection, melancholy, anxiety, and regret are common reactions after a breakup. There will be times when you feel OK and can carry on with your life, and then all of a sudden you’ll feel overwhelmed. The fact that these emotions occur in waves is part of the healing process.

After a painful breakup, recovery can be a drawn-out process. The process of healing takes time, and the road to recovery may be difficult, but it need not be difficult.

It will take time to get back to where you were, and you won’t actually go back to who you were before since you’ve been through so much pain and suffering that it will take time for you to recover and come back stronger than ever. You can overcome anything if you can get through this.

Pull yourself together. Forget the time spent, forget the pains, forget the memories just forget everything, and rebuild yourself into a newer person while following some of the tips below.

Here are some steps that can help you heal your broken heart after a traumatic breakup

How to Heal After a Bad & Traumatic Breakup

1. Allow yourself to grieve

The first step in healing from a traumatic breakup is to allow yourself to grieve. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions, and don’t try to suppress them. Cry if you need to, write in a journal, or talk to a friend or therapist. This can help you release some of the pent-up emotions and provide a sense of relief.

You can go somewhere far away from the house, where there are fewer people, and vent out all the emotions; cry, beat up everything you can find, yell and let it all out!

2. Seek support

How to Heal After a Bad & Traumatic Breakup

You don’t have to go through a breakup alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking to someone who cares about you can help you gain perspective, feel heard, and receive the emotional support you need.
You can choose to spend the night at your friend’s place or relative and allow them to care of you.

Additionally, a therapist can provide guidance and help you develop coping strategies to deal with your emotions.

3. Understand the root cause of the breakup

Sometimes the shock of an abrupt split is too much to handle. In the weeks following a breakup, you’ll find yourself reflecting on all the things you could have done differently to keep the relationship from ending. We frequently blame ourselves for relationships that don’t work out.

The truth is that the relationship had to terminate since it couldn’t be saved. Do not hold yourself responsible for how it ended; you were not at fault. A relationship must be mutually fulfilling for all parties, so be honest with yourself: were you truly happy?

Consider the benefits and drawbacks of the connection. Consider the actions your ex-partner may have taken that may have contributed to its ending.

Take a moment to reflect on the breakup, learned from the mistakes, learn from your actions, and inactions and the actions of your ex, and try to always do things differently from then onwards

4. Accept that it is over

It’s normal to hold out hope that the other person will get in touch with you again and reach out to rekindle the relationship after a breakup.
Even if they do get in touch with you to say hi or check in on you, it will only give you false hope that they still want you in their life or that they want to get back together.

In reality, they are probably just a little lonely and want to keep you around as an alternative. After a breakup, it is possible to remain friends, but you must be very clear that the two of you are no longer in a love relationship and that they may be moving on to someone else.

5. Dealing with rejection feelings

It’s normal to experience strong sentiments of rejection when someone breaks up with you, and it hurts terribly to hear from someone you love that they no longer want to be with you. We feel “not enough” for a variety of reasons, including not being fun, attractive, or good enough.

Realizing that you are enough is one of the most essential steps to take to get over a breakup. Your ex simply didn’t connect with you on the level they desired, but you are enough for anyone.

After a breakup, we frequently question ourselves “Why?” We wonder why they did it, how they could have done it, and why they didn’t want to be with us. You must understand that they were not the ideal partner for you and that the proper partner will make you feel loved and special and won’t cause you to doubt your value.

You will regain your self-confidence and improve your self-esteem as you heal. You’ll quickly realize that being expelled from his life was the best thing that has ever happened to you because you don’t need him or her there.

6. Don’t wait for them to contact you again.

You might occasionally wait for someone to get in touch with you after a breakup to express regret about their choice and a desire to see you again. In all likelihood, if they do seek out, it’s only because they’re lonely and want to keep you as a choice. The majority of the time, they may only miss you sexually and not miss you as a person.

Don’t wait to continue living your life because someone else has already done so. You must keep in mind that the relationship ended for a cause and that once they have stopped grieving, they will move on with someone else as well. If they wouldn’t wait for you, don’t wait for them.

7. Practice self-care

When you’re going through a breakup, it’s essential to take care of yourself. This means getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. You may also want to pamper yourself by taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, or treating yourself to a new outfit. The goal is to show yourself some love and kindness and remind yourself that you’re worth it.

Related: 20 Self-Care Ideas For Tough, Hurtful & Traumatic Days

8. Focus on the present moment

After a traumatic breakup, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or worry about the future. Instead, try to focus on the present moment. Pay attention to your surroundings, engage in activities that bring you joy, and try new things. This can help you create new memories and build a new identity, one that is not tied to your past relationship.

9. Let go of the past

One of the most challenging parts of healing from a traumatic breakup is letting go of the past. This means accepting that the relationship is over and forgiving yourself and your ex-partner.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the hurtful things that happened but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with them. This can be a gradual process, but it’s essential for your emotional well-being.

You realize when you open your heart to forgiveness, over time, the pain lessens and even becomes nonexistent, and then you also find happiness that you never thought you could find. This was truly the part you were meant to take.

10. Learn from the experience

Try to learn from the experience. Take some time to reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself and what you want in a relationship.

This can help you move forward and make better choices in the future.
A breakup is necessary in order to find your best self, find out who you are, and find out the kind of people that are good for you, and that have the same rhythmic patterns as you.

Remember that even though the breakup was painful, it doesn’t define you or your future relationships.

11. Engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy

How to Heal After a Bad & Traumatic Breakup

Engaging in activities that you enjoy can help take your mind off of the breakup and give you a sense of purpose. Try picking up a new hobby or revisiting an old one that you haven’t had time for in a while. Whether it’s painting, gardening, cooking, or playing sports, doing something you love can be therapeutic and help you feel more like yourself.

12. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools for managing stress and anxiety, which can be particularly helpful after a traumatic breakup. By focusing on the present moment and being aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment, you can cultivate a sense of calm and inner peace.

There are many resources available for learning how to practice mindfulness and meditation, such as apps, online courses, and books.

13. Take a break from social media

Social media can be a double-edged sword after a breakup. On the one hand, it can provide a sense of connection and support from friends and family. On the other hand, it can also be a constant reminder of your ex and the life you had together. Consider taking a break from social media or limiting your usage to avoid triggers that can cause you emotional distress.

14. Surround yourself with positive people

The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being. Seek out people who are supportive, positive, and uplifting. Spend time with friends and family who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. Joining a support group can also be a helpful way to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences.

15. Practice gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negative emotions like anger and resentment. Try making a list of things you’re grateful for each day, no matter how small they may seem. This can help shift your focus away from what you’ve lost and towards the good things in your life.

16. Set goals for the future

Setting goals for the future can be a motivating way to move forward after a breakup. Whether it’s a personal or professional goal, having something to work towards can give you a sense of purpose and direction.

Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable and don’t be too hard on yourself if you experience setbacks along the way. The journey towards your goals can be just as rewarding as the destination.

Although recovering from a devastating split is not simple, it is doable. You can begin to mend your broken heart and go to a better future by giving yourself permission to grieve, practicing self-care, concentrating on the present, getting assistance, letting go of the past, and learning from the experience. Be nice to yourself and give your body the time and space it needs to heal.

Related: Embrace the Season: 72 Spring Self-Care Ideas for a Refreshed & Healthier “You”

About Ura Toks

Ura Toks Is a Life Improvement Coach & a Medical Health Graduate.

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